All I Really Needed to Know I Learned on Broadway

Way back in the dark ages of the 20th century, in 1986 to be precise, a new musical came out called The Phantom of the Opera. There were others, but that was the most popular new one that year. In the world of books, Robert Fulghum published his classic All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. It detailed lessons we all learned in kindergarten that formed us as people. Some were simple, and others were more profound. Since then, I have seen parodies crop up over the years.

Photo by aluxum/iStock / Getty Images

Photo by aluxum/iStock / Getty Images


I thought it might be helpful to do a Broadway version. So, without further ado, I give you... “All I Really Need to Know I Learned on Broadway”. 


1. "Any dream will do." 

2. "The difference between a cow and a bean is a bean can begin an adventure." 

3. "You will be found." 

4. "Because I knew you, I have been changed for good." 

5. "Because we come from everywhere, we all come from away." 

6. "To love another person is to see the face of God." 

7. "It's such a fine line between a good man and a bad." 

8. "No more talk of darkness. Forget these wide-eyed fears. I'm here. Nothing can harm you." 

9. "Love in your heart wasn't put there to stay. Love isn't love 'til you give it away." 

10. "The slotted spoon can't hold much milk." 

11. "The things that I prize, like the stars in the skies, are all free!" 

12. "Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around." 

13. "Every year on September 11th, I close my office and give each employee $100 to do random acts of kindness." 

14. "Everything today is thoroughly modern. Check your personality." 

15. "Nothing's wrong with being 50, unless you're acting 20!"

16. "The slotted spoon can catch the potato." 

17. "Don't wait until wrinkles and lines pop out all over my brow! Show me now!" 

18. "They were great men, with huge flaws, and you know what — those flaws almost made them greater." 

19. "Come on in, the door's open!" 

20. "What you've got to do is finish what you've begun. I don't know just how, but it's not over 'til you've won." 

21. "Green Mountain Dew activates you. Red shuts you off." 

22. "Old Man River, he just keeps rolling along." 

23. "I loved you then, and I love you still!" 

24. "There's no business like show business." 

25. "Careful the things you say. Children will listen." 

26. "Give my regards to Broadway!" 

27. "Life is fraughtless when you're thoughtless."

28. "First you gotta read 'em. Then you gotta heed' em. You never know when you're gonna need 'em." 

29. "A cat is not a dog." 

30. "You'll never walk alone." 


*dramatic chord* "Et cetera!" 

*more dramatic chord* "Et cetera!" 

*even more dramatic chord* "ET CETERA!"